Train a Child in the Way They Should Grow…

I work in the healthcare field, in the emergency room to be exact and as such and have had some interesting experiences/tales. Along the way from time to time I think I have seen or heard it all but something new always comes along!

Yesterday a mother brought her 3 year old child. She was called from her job by the daycare to have him evaluated by a medical professional. So we get the kid situated, gives him meds etc., the mom had not given him any meds prior to his visit.

Lots of parents bring their children in with a high fever and when we ask them, “did you give the baby some medicine?” they almost always answer, “no because I wanted to bring him so you can see that he had a fever.” Hmm ok!

So the kid get to feeling better and they were almost ready to go, his mom was not quite ready and he kept trying to open the room door to leave. The mom rebukes him and told him to sit in the chair, at this point the child begins to kick his mom in the shins and would not stop. She weakly tried to get him to stop but to no avail, even I tried to distract him but almost got hit myself, so I retreated back to my corner.

The mom quickly completed the last tasks and they exited.

Many times we have parents bring children that misbehave in the hospital setting, refusing to sit, are all over the floor, touching the garbage cans, equipment, etc. and if you ask them not to do oftentimes the parents become ‘miffed’.

So here is my question: what do you think about about the discipline or lack thereof in our time?


10 Replies to “Train a Child in the Way They Should Grow…”

  1. I think it is important not to make blanket statements about children (in general; I’m not implying that you did). Yes, there are some that are not disciplined and it shows. There are some who are not disciplined and you would never know it. I’ve seen the opposite too. Some disciplined children lash out. Some do not. Each child is unique but there is an appropriate time for discipline and a time to let things go. There needs to be more guidance and less of a pendulum swing in either direction. That’s my two cents anyway.

  2. There’s no easy answer. Every child and every parent is different. But Joe and I always say we want to raise children that we enjoy being around.

    That doesn’t mean they’re perfect, or that we parent perfectly, but we do believe in teaching them respect and how to build meaningful relationships, allowing them to experience natural consequences, and teaching them to contribute to the community they are blessed to be a part of.

    I once heard, though, and I love it, that, with all of the different parenting techniques out there, it’s more about who you are and the example you set, than the strategy you use to parent. So, if children are more ruly lately, I wonder what that says about us 😬. Haha.

  3. I sat in a room yesterday where a four-year-old shouted over and over (at least six times before it worked — and it did work!): “All you people need to be quiet! You need to listen to me!” Her way of getting attention was in no way admonished. As with so many things I wish I did not see, I just carried on. Like you in the ER, it’s not up to me to judge or interfere. But oh I do wonder!

  4. I like to use the word accountable vs discipline. While not true, the word Discipline to some represents harsh punishment. I taught my children accountability. The difference between poor judgement and thinking as critical as their age would allow. If you have to be told twice to clean your room, no tv this weekend, have a fit in the grocery isle for cereal or cookies, no cookies or cereal in this cart, etc. They soon caught on. It doesn’t hurt if your child has been taught Godly traits from an early age, if you are a Christian.

    Unfortunately, in today’s society many parents are at a loss (children having children and the clueless or just don’t care). They lack training and resources that once upon a time were found in family, community and church. Age, time constraints, and the ability to deal with disruptive behavior with a positive approach poses a problem for some parents. Young children often spend less than three hands-on hours a day during the workweek with their parents. Many are dropped off at daycare as early as 6am and remain until 6pm and are put to bed by 8 or 9.

    That being said. Consistency and early intervention are the keys. A child’s behavior becomes ingrained by age seven according to professional opinion. As a nurse, I have worked in behavioral centers and ER inpatient mental health. Parents should not wait for the child to grow out of the “terrible twos or three’s or any age that exhibits bad/disrespectful/ disruptive behavior. When a child learns that throwing a tantrum or hitting gets the desired effect, they continue the behavior. In a normal/healthy child stick with your goals. If your time-out is 15 minutes don’t give in, It’s in a child’s nature to test you. Use common sense/good judgement when dealing with children.

    As parents, we need to remember that time outs and restrictions should be age appropriate. If they aren’t you haven’t met the goal. If you have a two year old sit in their chair for an hour, they have forgotten why they’re sitting there, providing they didn’t fall asleep. Either way the act is lost to them. If you don’t know the best approach to deal with your child’s behavioral problems, there are behavioral experts out there with the tools and classes to help you. Don’t close your eyes to the problem. It will likely get worse.

    NUMBER One: Assess your child. They could have underlying issues, such as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ADD or one of the many D disorders. Young Children can also suffer from social anxiety, and Autism. You can also look for triggers that brings on the behavior by checking The Who, what, where, and when’s. If you assessment leaves you suspicious you can seek the advice of a professional.

    Disruptive behavior in children can create negative impacts on family dynamics. Left unchecked disruptive children can cause problems at school, home and within their communities. As parents, learn to manage, regulate and recognize problematic behaviors. As bystanders remember, Not all parents can parent. Pray that they learn. Pray that they leave the ER intact. Unfortunately, some parents don’t attempt to get a handle on bad behavior at home or in the ER (public places). Children have pulled over dressing carts, opened suture trays, poured their drinks in electrical equipment, dug through the biohazard trash can, taken the batteries out of the remote control, putting them in their mouths, all while the parents sits there and watches until a nurse comes along to intervene and teach the hazards. It can be frustrating. Pray for us all.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.