Posted on 35 Comments

Lessons Of A Bonus Mom

I look at this pic every day as a remembrance.

I have the distinct honor of being the first living grandchild on both sides of my immediate family. I am also the first niece and eldest cousin. My formative years were spent in a home with my grandma.

My mom tells me that when I was just a baby my grandmother was very ill and since my mom was often occupied helping her younger brothers and sisters, I was left in the care of my grandmother fairly often.

Since my grandma was of ill-health at the time, being in ‘her care’ meant that I laid on the bed alongside her. Thus began the relationship with the woman I regarded as a ‘bonus mom’. I was pretty close to grandma all her life.

Grandmother called “mommy” was the matriarch of our world. She ruled with an iron fist yet she was kind and gentle, discipline however was non-negotiable.

There were always extended family and friends at our home and she would ensure each person was welcomed.

Mommy taught me that about the love of God, many of the scriptures I know today I first heard her quoting as a child. I learned that being respectful was highly valued and being kind and grateful were close seconds and thirds.

She taught me to persevere; I remember in school when I was tired and did not want to pursue studying she would often quote Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night”.

I smile now as I write this, that woman, my grandmother spoke in parables more than plain words and somehow I seemed to have been paying rapt attention. Whenever I have wanted to quit as a child and then a young woman I would just hear her voice in my head encouraging me.

And so I would stay up late and study on.

Back then I did not always appreciate the lessons, but in retrospect, I am so grateful.

Now in middle years the words of my grandmother still ring true. I have been an attentive student all my life and even though I have not lived with her since I was fourteen years old I have been schooled well at her feet. She was the guiding force in my life, my tutor and a pivotal catalyst for who I am today.

Even though I left the country of my birth many decades ago, I would frequently call grandma on the phone and each of my kids would be on a plane for grandma to meet and bless as soon as they could travel there.

My grandma once told me, “I pray for you every day”. What a wonderful gift to give, to pray God’s protection and blessings for someone everyday! But that’s what grammas do!

I have a picture of grandma’s ‘celebration of life’ program in my bathroom. It is one the first faces I look at everyday and it brings me joy because God gave her to us for a time.

Grandma left this life on June 22, 2009 and though a piece of me has left with her I will forever fondly remember the many lessons she thought.

35 thoughts on “Lessons Of A Bonus Mom

  1. How absolutely wonderful! You brought tears to my eyes not only because of your amazing relationship and all that your gramma taught you, but also because my own young grandchildren (six of them, ages 1-7) — as is often the norm these days — are a plane ride away. I have a few days here and there, and those times are so hectic and they are so unraveled by the traveling or by just figuring out who the heck I am, that we do not bond the way I would like. They barely settle in and it’s time to go, and another half a year will go by until I see them again. I always dreamed of being the kind of grandma you describe, but what you had included actual physical presence as well as an amazing person (two amazing people if you count you, and I do!). You were sooooo blessed!!

    1. I try to tell my own children to chesrish the time with their grandma, my mother as there is a wealth of knowledge and unconditiional love to be gleaned.
      Thank you.

      1. Yes, yes, yes! Listen

        1. They usually don’t.

  2. I will hope that my own children tell their children the same thing 🙂

    1. Grandmothers are usually the best as they are not burdened with the everyday rearing and are more relaxed to interact with the kids in a way that parents sometimes cannot. That’s why bonus mom came to mind, lol.

  3. Your grandma sounds like an incredible woman, Pene’. It’s so hard when that go, but they leave us better than they found us. What a gift to her that you keep her and the lessons she taught you close to your heart. God bless you friend 🙏 .

    1. *when they go

      1. WE wish we could keep them around forever…but we have the hope of Jesus.

        1. Yes we do ❤️.

  4. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing person and you’ve really honored her with this post. I was very close to my mother’s mother too and was even named after her. I wish we didn’t live so far from my family because my children have missed out on having a close relationship with grandparents. Also, I loved how you called her your bonus mom. Do you mind if I use this phrase to better describe my own family?

    1. Not at all. Hope you are having a good day.

      1. Thanks! Today is my partner and my bonus (adoptive) mom’s birthday. I feel bad that we can’t celebrate with her and will have to make do with a video call. Hope you’re having a good day too.

        1. At work running around between posts, lol. They know we love them even when we are far away. But happy birthday to both of them.

  5. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and encouraging part of your life. ♥♥

    1. Glad you enjoyed reading it.

  6. Wonderful story from your lie little sister. One day you will be reunited with your grandmother 🙂

    1. I believe it, thank you.

      1. I noticed my typo I meant life not lie sorry

        1. I figured so, no problem, lol

  7. Beautiful tribute to your grandma! She sounds like a wonderful godly woman. I believe the prayers of our grandparents and others from the older generation are a big part of what has helped us today. May God continue to bless you and your family. ❤️

    1. Yes I believe the same thing, The blessings of our foreparents is a biblical tradition.

  8. I love this story about your grandma! You are blessed! 😊🧡

    1. Thank you so much.

      1. You’re welcome 🧡

  9. This was a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your grandma. 🙂

  10. You were blessed to have such a loving, impactful “mommy” in your life.

    1. Oh yes, thank you so much.

  11. Beautiful post and lovingly written. I can truly relate. Thank you.❤️

    1. Thank you for reading.

  12. Rest In Peace Grandma. Amazing post and thank you for sharing this.

    Have an awesome day!

    1. Thank you.

  13. Beautiful

    1. Thank you for reading.

      1. It was a pleasure to read …thank you

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