Posted on 20 Comments

A Good Friend

Two women laughing and covering each other's eyes.
Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash

What does it mean to be a friend?

The dictionary defines friendship as — a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

I have never felt the need to cultivate many friends, just a select few. These ‘special’ ones, good friends, are the ones that stand the test of time. Most of my friends have been so for the better part of 20 or 30 years.

My best girl and I have been friends since kindergarten. We are now women of a certain age, so that’s been a looong friendship.

We each live our separate lives and come together whenever we need to without ever losing a beat.

She is perhaps the only person alive I feel I can tell “anything to and the message is received in the spirit it was intended. We really do understand each other. We never quarreled even during our teenage years!

We have a cool easy friendship that has stood the test of time.

I am a keeper of friends. I love people, loyal genuine folks. The type of friendships that thrives without being too demanding.

Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash

What is the basis of a good friendship?

  1. Trust — the foundation upon which ALL relationships must be built. Otherwise, they will never stand the test of time.
  2. A kindred soul, one that is respectful, kind, generous, empathetic. Good friendship does not require that you share the same viewpoints on everything, but each must be willing to respect others’ points of view and work through any conflict towards a resolution.
  3. A keeper of secrets and a safe harbor to rest. Everyone needs a confidante. A friend you can trust with your secret is a boon.
  4. Honesty— this is non-negotiable! Without honesty, no relationship can grow or prosper. Lies, deceit, and betrayal will swiftly cause the demise of any budding friendship.
  5. A cheerleader — He/she encourages your dreams and aspirations and does all they can to help you achieve them.
  6. Maintain individuality— each person must own and maintain their separate spaces in which to pursue their own interests. Later they come together with fresh perspectives, hopes, dreams, and even failures.
  7. Generous with time — As with any relationship, great friendships must be nurtured. This requires carving out time for mutual interests and bonding.
  8. Provides a voice of reason, camaraderie, and belonging. Empower your friend with the freedom and to tell you when and if they think you are heading down a wrong path. Be willing to listen, hear them, and take time to see their point of view.

Photo by Liz Weddon on Unsplash

Final thoughts

If friendships are to survive, some ground rules must be set. A few of the necessary qualities are honesty, trust, compassion, and love.

A good friend is any person with whom you can let your hair down, so to speak. In their presence you feel safe, loved, welcomed, and most importantly you are free to be yourself. A great friend is one with whom there is no need for pretense.

If you should find such a friend, make time to nurture and cement that bond.

Finally, be as good a friend to them as you hope they will be for you.

Be safe, be well!!

20 thoughts on “A Good Friend

  1. Penne, Well-reasoned and well-written post! Great photos too. <3 Be well. I hope you are finding a moment for yourself here and there! 🙂 Cheryl

  2. Many years ago an old family friend said you know you have a good friend when you’ve been friends for 30 years. By that standard, I have two good friends, and those friendships have been based on the factors you describe here.

    Well said.

    1. Indeed! Stay blessed!

  3. That’s a beautiful story, and it’s great that you found a lifetime friend. Wish the two of you along with all your other friends more amazing moments together.❤️✌🏾

    1. Thank you my dear. I have to visit your page and see what treasures I missed!

  4. Great read and great photos too. 💌

    1. Thank you! Enjoy your day!

  5. Such a wonderful and well-written essay on friendship! I love your last line…be the friend you wish your friend to be to you. I also like the point about being a cheerleader. I like that. I always tried to be a cheerleader for my children…I still am! I try to be a cheerleader for all of my friends and family. Deep down, everyone needs encouragement and support…especially when they are going through a difficult time. I am grateful for the people that have been there for me… What would life be like without our friends and family?

    1. Thank you for your analysis. And thank God for good friends. When one finds a good friend you have found a real treasure.
      And great parents as cheerleaders are the best thing even as adults we crave the approval of our parents.
      Have a blessed day!

  6. I love this post ! True friends are amongst God’s finest gifts to us. Thanks so much.
    🌼

    1. Good morning Ms Sally. You are so right, good friends are a blessing and provides a richness to our lives. Thank God he provided an adjunct family for us.
      Be blessed!

  7. Awesome. Due to experience, I no longer use term best friend. However, I am very grateful for the gift of sisterhood and friendship. You did a great job of reminding us of what real friendship is. Thank you.

    1. Good to see you here. I love your terms. Perhaps we will hear the story one day.

      1. YW. Glad to be here. When the time is right, maybe.

  8. Love love love this post❣️

    As we mature we trade quantity of friends for quality.

    Nicely written 😍

  9. I agree with the points you shared, sis. I love the 6, most. Embracing our individuality would help us act in strength towards each other. ❤
    Grateful for the few quality friends I have too. Learning to know “the friends” from “acquaintances”. 😊

    1. Amen. May God bless you with worthy friends.

  10. Very well quoted read on friendship!
    True are real possession in life and only the blessed ones have the privilege to that treasure.
    You are blessed. I just pray that you remain blessed for the rest of your life and keep spreading the positivity via your wonderful posts!
    Much Love

    1. Oh thank you so much.
      Be blessed and stay safe!

  11. A great friend is one with whom there is no need for pretense. – totally agreed!

Hello and welcome! Thank you for visiting, commenting, liking and/or following along on this adventure.. 🤗

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.